There has been little lightheartedness in my life this past year. Even the moments I’ve felt hopeful have often gotten derailed by unsettled thoughts and questions. I’ve been missing the closer relationship with my twins from when they were younger, before any of us lost our innocence. In the midst of processing the recent changes and trying to figure out how to feel, think, and act, I decided it would be fun to take a respite from contemplation and spend a little time reminiscing. Even though we have not been perfect parents, we have enjoyed life with our children, and it’s good to remember that not everything has been a challenge.

 

TOYS R US

When the twins were still babies and big brother was five, we used to go to Toys R Us as a family just to walk around and look at things. We didn’t have a lot of money, so we rarely planned to buy anything. It was just a fun family night to walk around the store slowly and look at the plethora of toys on display. We had a double umbrella stroller for the twins, since they were just two years old and not great at walking yet. One of our favorite memories is the moment that would happen when we pushed the stroller around a corner in the store. Both of those little mouths would drop open and each would give an audible gasp of amazement at the new sights around the corner. It was so cute, and it would happen around every corner during a trip. We mimic that gasp to this day and fondly remember those sweet baby faces, blue eyes alit with wonder.

 

TAMAGOTCHI

Our twins have always expressed great affinity for animals, even virtual ones. When they were in early elementary school, they got Tamagotchi toys as birthday gifts. Tamagotchi is a keychain-sized, electronic, virtual pet simulation game where you begin with an egg that hatches into a baby alien creature that you must care for: feeding it, cleaning up after it, playing with it. The creature has happiness and hunger meters, among others, for tracking how healthy and well-behaved he is. If you do not take sufficient care of your creature, he can get sick and even ultimately die, though this was a feature of the toy that we did not understand fully from the beginning. The day that we realized the consequences of not caring sufficiently for a Tamagotchi was a rough day for my compassionate, sensitive sweethearts. There were many tears shed and much comforting to be given. You can always spawn a new egg on your Tamagotchi game, and eventually that occurred, but the loss of that first little Tamagotchi life was tangible and speaks of my children’s big hearts.

 

LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE

When our children were small, we used to read story books aloud each night before bed. Some of our favorites include Sandra Boynton’s Pajama Time and Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman. Eventually, we graduated to reading a couple of chapters in a kids’ chapter book nightly. Since I had loved all the books in the Little House series, written by Laura Ingalls Wilder, I was excited to experience that journey again with my twins. They shared a bedroom from the time they were born until they started sixth grade, sometimes with their twin beds bunked, and sometimes unbunked and arranged side by side with a nightstand and lamp in between. I remember reading these while laying on the floor between their unbunked beds, feet propped up on one bed while resting my head on the other. My favorite memory of reading a Little House book to them was when the Ingalls’ dog, Jack, was thought to have died in a flooded creek. I knew that Jack would be alright, but they didn’t know, and I couldn’t tell them in advance and spoil the surprise. I felt their sadness with them that Jack was gone. Then I pushed ahead to read an extra chapter that night, so I could take us from sadness to the joy of being reunited with Jack, when he appeared in the distance following behind the wagon as the Ingalls continued their travels west.

 

QUESTIONS LIST

For years I kept a list of questions the kids asked while we were driving that I intended to look up with them someday. We never did take time to look them up, but I kept the list of questions and like reading it every now and then.

Why is February so short?

What is HMOOB?

History of Halloween

Has there ever been snow in summer?

Why do we have Christmas trees?

Who invented hangers?

How does salt bring out the flavor in things?

Who invented drive-through banks & restaurants and when did they do it?

How is glass made?

Why is 3 strikes in a row called a “turkey” in bowling?

How is margarine made?

Why do they say athletes get “the yips”?

Why are they called bangs?

History of soccer

How do airplanes fly?

Why is Good Friday called Good Friday?

How do pencil erasers work?

What is metal made of?

What are warts?

How do cars work?

When were skateboards invented?

How do computers work?

What is cheese made of?

 

LAUGHING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR

We have a snapshot of the twins laying on their backs on the kitchen floor at about age four. There was a deep blue rug upon which they lay, blonde heads touching, laughter visible on their faces. The picture is taken from above, looking down on these beautifully happy children.

It is a favorite photo, filed out of sight for now to ease the pain of loss. But the memories are still joyful and fresh, biding their time until it’s safe to return, just like the sun gone behind a cloud for a few moments before shining its light again on the earth’s waiting surface.