When we hear that someone has become disillusioned, the response is usually one of sympathy and condolences. I wonder why that is? 
To be disillusioned is to be free from illusion or to lose naive faith and trust. You believed something to be good, valuable, or true, but have now come to realize that it was only an illusion – something that looks or seems different from what it actually is, or an idea that is based on something that is not true.
In the 1999 movie, The Matrix, real life was dangerous, bleak, and often hopeless. However, the majority of people lived in an illusion of plenty and freedom not even realizing it was an illusion. Some knew, yet chose to continue living in the illusion because it offered an experience of fulfillment and comfort. Morpheus gave the protagonist, Neo, a chance to choose when he said,
“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”
I’d like to think I would always choose the red pill, though I can’t say for sure. I certainly don’t want a rosy life that’s comfortable and “perfect” but not genuine. I want the truth. I want the raw. I want the real.
As an optimist, I entered this year of writing with an unspoken hope that my research and transparency would impact the choices of my twins, causing them to rethink their decisions and prevent them from undergoing permanent changes. In a way, I was still striving after something, but quietly, the undercurrent beneath the surface. I hoped for a miracle of enlightenment that would alter their courses.
“Putting your hand over your heart makes you both appear and behave more honestly,”
In August 2017, my husband and I became empty nesters. It was a time which we had looked forward to throughout our 21 years of parenting. Now it was here, and it was so freeing to have only the two of us to consider when deciding when and where to eat, what to watch on television, when to go to bed, and on and on. It was a fresh start.
You must be logged in to post a comment.