Believe it or not, I actually love going to the dentist. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not excited about the hands in my mouth, the water splattering my face, and wondering about whether or not I’ll receive a good report. No, I’m excited because the people at my dentist office empathize with me and my challenges but also help me see the bigger picture as it relates to my children.

After receiving a favorable welcome from the new receptionist, I was greeted with a hug by my hygienist. Last time I was here, I talked to this hygienist about my twins and shared my heart with her. We have a lot in common, and she was so sweet then and showed appreciation for my candor.

We talked about her challenges with her grown kids being judgemental of her as a single mom, divorced several years ago from their dad who then passed away from cancer, and then married and divorced again just in the last couple of years. I shared about my recent experiences starting personal counseling, and she added her observations from interactions with her therapist.

Prior to the conclusion of my appointment, the doctor came in to take a look and review my x-rays and give his recommendations. He then asked if I had any other concerns. This allowed me to bring up the fact that my twins will both have appointments at his office over their Christmas breaks from college. They’ve been seen at his practice for the past seven years, so he’s known them visually and by name as female. I needed to ensure he remembered that they would look very different and were going by different names. He asked if it was an okay topic to ask them about. I said that in my opinion it wasn’t his place to do so. I suggested he ask about their respective campuses and courses of study and congratulate them on getting good grades this semester, but that he leave any comments or questions about changes in looks or names alone.

I mentioned that no one should give my kids any grief over their decisions or they would need to take it up with me. I’m the only one that gets to give my kids grief about anything.

The receptionist, hygienist, and doctor assured me that my children would be treated with the utmost respect and my wishes for them would be honored.

Here’s the thing. This is hard for me. I would rather not need to explain to people that my twins identify as transgender. I would rather not deal with this unusual, atraditional, uncomfortable topic. Truthfully, I could just let the kids fend for themselves. They’re adults.

As for the dentist office, they should all be professionals, whether they are forewarned or not. They should be respectful. Period.

And yet, I can’t leave it there. I don’t want the people in the office to feel surprised by this information. It’s a lot to take in. I deal with it every day, but for these people it’s new and a bit shocking. Mostly, though, I care that my twins feel loved. I feel like I can do that by making what could be a really awkward situation easier for them. If I prepare the path ahead of them, without them even knowing, it can go off without a hitch. No worries, just normal life.

I wanted to smooth their paths, like I’ve always done. It’s my job as mom, and I love to do it. This journey of life is a hard road and there are many bumps that I won’t be able to level for them. Honestly, I’ve created some of the ruts and grooves which they must negotiate, but whenever it is in my power to make sure they are safe, respected, and cared for, I will go out of my way to do it. Even if it causes extra bumps for me.