There has been little lightheartedness in my life this past year. Even the moments I’ve felt hopeful have often gotten derailed by unsettled thoughts and questions. I’ve been missing the closer relationship with my twins from when they were younger, before any of us lost our innocence. In the midst of processing the recent changes and trying to figure out how to feel, think, and act, I decided it would be fun to take a respite from contemplation and spend a little time reminiscing. Even though we have not been perfect parents, we have enjoyed life with our children, and it’s good to remember that not everything has been a challenge. Continue reading
Monthly Archives: September 2018
it’s complicated
You know those relationship status updates on Facebook? So and so is engaged. So and so is in a relationship. Then there’s the one that says, it’s complicated.
That’s the way I feel about the issue of gender dysphoria in my twins and the life of our family. On the one hand, it makes no sense to me. It makes me sad and confused and angry by turn, because of the loss I feel: the loss of my daughters and the loss of the vision for my life’s story. Continue reading
Asking Permission
The impetus for me to write this blog came sometime last December 2017 after our second twin shared their transgender identification with us. Prior to that, I had felt like I could come to grips with the choices of the first twin and let go of my desire for control and instead hope for healing of relationship and renewed commitment to my faith traditions.
After we dropped both twins off at their respective universities to begin their freshman years, my goal had been to focus on developing a new relationship of peace and health with the first (and only, at the time) one to identify as transgender.
The Greatest Commandment
One of my favorite stories in the gospels is the one where a Jewish teacher of the law comes to Jesus and asks him a question. “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
This story is told in three of the four gospels in the New Testament: Matthew, Luke, and Mark. I like the way Mark tells it the best, in part because his intended audience was the common person who was not part of the Jewish faith. Continue reading
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