Category Archives: Faith

How deep is the rabbit hole?

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When we hear that someone has become disillusioned, the response is usually one of sympathy and condolences. I wonder why that is? Rabbit hole

To be disillusioned is to be free from illusion or to lose naive faith and trust. You believed something to be good, valuable, or true, but have now come to realize that it was only an illusion – something that looks or seems different from what it actually is, or an idea that is based on something that is not true.

In the 1999 movie, The Matrix, real life was dangerous, bleak, and often hopeless. However, the majority of people lived in an illusion of plenty and freedom not even realizing it was an illusion. Some knew, yet chose to continue living in the illusion because it offered an experience of fulfillment and comfort. Morpheus gave the protagonist, Neo, a chance to choose when he said,

“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”

I’d like to think I would always choose the red pill, though I can’t say for sure. I certainly don’t want a rosy life that’s comfortable and “perfect” but not genuine. I want the truth. I want the raw. I want the real.

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Faith

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shower crying

One year ago I was crying in my shower trying to figure out how to move forward. I had begun to come to grips with letting go of our first twin to identify as transgender, relinquishing control and trying to accept a new role in our relationship as the burgeoning independence of adulthood was born for him at the start of attending university. Then the unexpected strike of our second twin going down that same path of transgender identification sent me into a tailspin. My mind was reeling, frantically revisiting all the thoughts I had almost put to rest. I needed some way to wade through them and find a path out of my despair and loss. So began my blogging expedition: “One year in my journey of faith, family, and forgiveness.” Continue reading →

The Greatest Commandment

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the greatest commandmentOne of my favorite stories in the gospels is the one where a Jewish teacher of the law comes to Jesus and asks him a question. “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

This story is told in three of the four gospels in the New Testament: Matthew, Luke, and Mark. I like the way Mark tells it the best, in part because his intended audience was the common person who was not part of the Jewish faith. Continue reading →

Live and let live

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live and let liveLive and let live is a proverb that embodies tolerance, even without agreement.

We recently had a wonderful dinner and heartfelt conversation with friends who described their church as “live and let live” in ideology. They attend a United Methodist Church that has embraced being a reconciling congregation. It is a part of the UMC’s Reconciling Ministries Network whose guiding principles in part state: Continue reading →

You’ll be okay

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I feel like my hands and feet have been tied behind my back, and I’ve been thrown into a deep pit of water. I can’t breathe.

 

 

If the blog of my journey were a record album, I would want to push the needle down hard into the grooves and scrape it across the entire story, destroying the totality of it with a primal screech before breaking the album into pieces on the floor.

broken-record

Fortunately the voices in my head are stilled by the more objective voices of friends – friends who can stomach my extremism without judgment. They can share my strong emotions, but talk me back from the ledge of my fears. They speak hard truths, but with compassion.

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Open Letter to the Church

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Dear church,

I’ve been inside your walls almost every Sunday since I was born. There have been Sundays that have been missed due to a vacation or family get-together. Before we had kids, we did a bit of traveling and didn’t always make it to church. And a recent summer, I took most of the summer off. But I’d say I’ve been to church around 95% of Sundays my entire life.

I have run children’s ministries; directed musical groups; sat on the leadership team; served as financial secretary and bookkeeper; led worship teams; performed in concerts; cleaned, organized, and painted; been faithful financially; and committed energy and time to the church and her people. 

Church #2

I speak as a part of the church, not as an outsider. I speak as someone who has given much of my life not only to my faith, but to the body of believers who share that faith.

Your heart is in the right place. You have good intentions. You believe you are doing good in the world, and to be certain, there is much good done by people of faith. Continue reading →

You Gotta Have Faith

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Iyou gotta have faith describe myself as a person of faith. I am not a religious person, nor do I support religion, per se. To some people, including my children, this distinction is my personal distinction, rather than one of definition. So to clarify, I believe religion is man’s attempt to reach God. I believe having faith means trusting in God’s attempt to reach man. I do still claim the title of Christian, not because of association with current religious organizations, but because I desire to associate with the historical Jesus Christ. I do believe Jesus Christ was a literal human being, and also fully divine, the Incarnate God. Continue reading →