When we hear that someone has become disillusioned, the response is usually one of sympathy and condolences. I wonder why that is? 
To be disillusioned is to be free from illusion or to lose naive faith and trust. You believed something to be good, valuable, or true, but have now come to realize that it was only an illusion – something that looks or seems different from what it actually is, or an idea that is based on something that is not true.
In the 1999 movie, The Matrix, real life was dangerous, bleak, and often hopeless. However, the majority of people lived in an illusion of plenty and freedom not even realizing it was an illusion. Some knew, yet chose to continue living in the illusion because it offered an experience of fulfillment and comfort. Morpheus gave the protagonist, Neo, a chance to choose when he said,
“This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”
I’d like to think I would always choose the red pill, though I can’t say for sure. I certainly don’t want a rosy life that’s comfortable and “perfect” but not genuine. I want the truth. I want the raw. I want the real.
Then the days got shorter and the air began to cool. We sensed summer coming to an end. A new school year was just ahead with autumn right on its heels, bringing the excitement of new teachers and classrooms, old and new friends, and the exhilaration of crisp fall winds blowing puffy white clouds across the cornflower blue of a midwestern sky. Crunchy brown, yellow, and red leaves littered the sidewalks, and children threw on sweaters and hoodies to skateboard and bike home from school. The smell of decomposing leaves and damp earth, the chilly air, and the scent of burning logs from a bonfire kindled memories of seasons changing in years gone by.
As an optimist, I entered this year of writing with an unspoken hope that my research and transparency would impact the choices of my twins, causing them to rethink their decisions and prevent them from undergoing permanent changes. In a way, I was still striving after something, but quietly, the undercurrent beneath the surface. I hoped for a miracle of enlightenment that would alter their courses.
Our identity is comprised of the intersection of our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions. In an earlier post I suggested that those three need to be in equal tension in order to hold us upright. I didn’t make the connection that what they hold upright is our identity.
Trigger warnings began as an internet phenomenon and have spread into print and other media. Their usage comes on the heels of the creation of the diagnosis of PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in the 1960s. The concept of PTSD originally focused on the experiences of soldiers returning home from war, but has since become more widely used to diagnose the aftereffects of all kinds and levels of traumas. For some interesting reading on the topic of PTSD and the development of trigger warnings, take a look at this May, 2015 article entitled 
The Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies is a favorite for our family. We’ve watched all three movies in one marathon day-long adventure several years back, as well as watching one each night for three nights in a row the first summer we moved to the desert.
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